i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Can I color on your dick again?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
