oh god the rape fog is back!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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