did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
