At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
