He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize
