I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
