you would pick up someone in the library
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
What drink are we having for lunch?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I lost the right to judge tonight
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
