new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
