4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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