everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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