she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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