Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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