It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
