I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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