am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
