Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
