that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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