Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
