We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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