Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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