this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
