I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
