My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
