what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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