there was a trapeze. enough said
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
