I want to stick my p in your. b.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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