What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
