i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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