so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
