If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Terrible idea I love it
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
