we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
