it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
