I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
