wakey wakey hands off snakey
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
