Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
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