Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
