fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
