Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
