how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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