There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
