i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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