Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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