my room smells like sperm. sweet.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
