It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
