Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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