More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
