So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
