No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
