if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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