I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
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